You know how some fat girls have awesome racks, so it kind of tricks the world into not seeing their fatness, or at least overlooking their fatness for the sake of their chesticles? I have never been one of those fat girls. I’m more of a belly and butt kind of chubster, and the thing I’ve longed for most in life is a nice bosom. I’ve plagued the husband with pleas for a boob job, I spend significant time each day examining them, forcing them into bras w/ disgusting gel inserts, etc.

But then I got pregnut. (I like to say pregnant like the girls on MTV’s horrible, yet addictive Teen Mom say pregnant.) And man alive, if my boobs aren’t finally meeting my expectations! People may bitch and moan about their achy, heavy boobers, but I don’t mind the tenderness and itchiness and weird veins and myriad of other freaky crap if it means that I’m gonna get another cup size out of this. BOOBS!
I’m incredibly happy about this. I haven’t had to add padding to my bras for weeks, and they seem to just be getting bigger. It’s like I’m going through puberty all over again, only this time it’s working! I’m especially fond of the fact that regardless of my junk-laden diet, I don’t seem to be putting on much weight elsewhere (though my pants refuse, REFUSE to button…) and it’s all in the breasties.

God bless you, little baby, for all the miracles you are and will bring. And thanks for the nice, new rack, too.

(I’m probably going to get a lot of pervert spam for this one. But I can’t help it, it’s like all my wishes are coming true in one fell swoop!)



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6 responses to “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOBS!!!

  1. Jen

    I too was so excited when the booby fairy graced me with her presence – only problem is that once the baby is born and the nursing is over – what can be left over is so sad!

    I am finally getting my wish and buying the “perfect” rack – hopefully you’ll get to keep yours for free!


  2. alicia

    Yeah… I think I’d be happy if my normal size wasn’t, well… you know. Ugh. Sorry… I know you don’t want to hear it, but I hate the jugs that pregnancy brings me. They are reaching practical joke size these days and I’m not even near nursing size yet. Oh, man. I’m dreading it.
    Yes. I’m serious.
    No. I’m not trying to be all, “Oh, poor me. Poor me. My boobs are huge. Feel bad for me.”
    I just really hate them when they are melons and
    I. Can’t. Wear. Anything. At. All. Except. Blaine’s. T-shirts.

  3. i have to admit that if i had to start from normal-boobage, i’d probably hate this, but moving from an a to a full b kicks so much ass!

  4. I’m ok if my boobs get bigger as long as they look just like Salma Hayaks gigantic baby boobies. Also, when posting about Shosanna, I had a feeling you would be the one to reply. And, of course I’m so happy about the baby and I want to see your big boobs and baby tummy.

  5. And hopefully your boobs won’t go away. My moms just got bigger and bigger after each baby.

  6. i am so 1 million times in love with the fact that you are “lt. aldo raine” and i hope my boobs get bigger and bigger. what a luxury!

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