Mommy

Before I went to sleep last night (for the third time) I rolled over to Vegs and said, “Does it freak you out that we’re going to be PARENTS?”

I’ve been so focused on feeling sick (because in my world feeling sick = body doing the right thing) and being anxious about the pregnancy, I haven’t bothered to think about the fact that Little One is really coming, and that I’m going to be a mommy.

I’m already so in love with my little (almost tailless!) embryo (almost fetus!) and I’m so excited to fall in love with the little person she or he will become.

I wonder about her/him all the time. Will baby have a lot of hair when it comes out like I did? Will the hair be black? Will s(he) be funny? Smart? Musical? Artistic? Athletic? What will make her sad? What will make him happy?

Will I be good enough? Will I be able to cope with the heartbreak that will come when noggins get bumped or when they’re frustrated with me?

How will I raise them to be good? How will I teach them right from wrong? Can I make certain that they will be kind?

I’m so full of questions this morning. And awe and wonder at the fact that In 7 short months we’ll get to meet the child we’ve been waiting so long for. I’m so incredibly grateful for this opportunity, this blessing.

I am also freaking bawling my eyes out at my desk. Oh, silly emotions, always getting the best of me.

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2 Comments

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2 responses to “Mommy

  1. I like your “sill emotions” and I like that you are going to be a Mom, with a capital M.

  2. alicia

    I love you.

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