January 3, 2010

Happy 5 week Birthday, Tiny One.

To be honest, I don’t really know how far along I am, thanks to fertility treatments I have 3 possible dates to be using: my last missed period, November 29; the date of my hcg shot, December 12; or my ovulation date (according to temperature), December 15. All I know is that I’m happy you’re in there, and that you should stay put for the next 9 months! Again, I’m terrified of losing you. Maybe this is how all pregnant women feel. It’s the biggest test of faith one could ever have.

You’ve brought out a spiritual side in me that I’ve been keeping hidden for some time. I don’t know how to explain the way you make me believe in something bigger than me. I pray every day that you grow and stay healthy, and I feel like it’s something I’ll be doing your whole life.

When I found out we were pregnant, it was like a major shift happened in me. I feel like I have a much stronger grasp on what is important in life. To me, you’re the most important thing, but you also represent how important family, love, strong relationships mean to me, and what a loss I would be at without them.

Tomorrow I go to the OBGYN, I won’t know anything, as it’s just an intake appointment, but it’s always reassuring to speak w/ a doctor, let them tell me what I’m going through is normal.

Keep getting big and staying healthy, Little Little.

Love you,

Momma.

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Filed under letter to little, pregnancy

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