December 29

Well, Little, what can I say?

I have a big sticky note on my computer that says “Faith, not fear”, but it’s hard. I’ve wanted you to come for so long, I’m so scared to lose you.

I had my HCG levels tested yesterday, everything was normal. FAITH not fear, I must remember. I have another draw scheduled for tomorrow, and an ultrasound for the 14th. It will still be too early to know much about you at that point, but I’ll know SOMETHING.

I’m so grateful for the symptoms. I really am, it makes me feel like something is happening, and when I don’t feel them, I panic. I should really work on that, no?

I’ve had really weird food issues for the past week or so, yesterday I inhaled 2 plates heaped full of Indian food, then 2 delicious bowls of rice pudding. Things sound either like poisonous hell, or like the most delicious thing in the world. I’ve been trying to be healthy, so I made a big green shake this morning to get you lots of folate and vitamins.

You make me pee all the time, and like I said, I’m grateful for it. And the headaches, and the nausea. I hope things stay like this, or get stronger so I feel like you are still growing and doing well. I need little signs, dear one.

But, I must say, this gas issue is out of control. I mean, your  Momma was a gassy gal before you entered the picture, but it’s like you’re inside squeezing out every possible burp and fart. Keep it coming little one, I think it’s funny.

More tomorrow, stay in there, grow big. I love you.

Momma

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Filed under letter to little, pregnancy, pregnancy symptoms

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